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One Side: Beth

Sometimes she films me while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a jumpscare.

My best friend of a decade, Marielle, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a short while, but it strains our relationship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to document everything all the time. When we eat out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when other people see her performing for the camera – I get vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She creates vlogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed later, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or be captured mid-bite. It feels invasive.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I'm in conversation to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our bond has turned into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily employ someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I spend helping her create material.

I’m grateful that Marielle has helped me with my design career, but I don’t want our friendship to become merely a tally of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but at times it seems that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me laughing with another. It’s so silly. I need her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also desire to experience it without being filmed, edited, or posted for an audience. I’m not a accessory for her online persona.

The Other Side: Marielle

I want Beth to see that the content we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I love shooting content. It’s not just a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online enables me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who pull off that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of engaging with life: observing the nuances, posting them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make my friend uneasy. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of offering access, giving her a opportunity to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her professional path too. That isn't leverage, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see the benefits the work we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I know not all people likes being on camera, but often unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Being recorded occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I would delete anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but companions support one another in minor capacities. I thought filming a short video now and then would be fun for Beth. Innovation flourishes in partnership, and having my friend around makes endeavors energetic and pleasurable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I’d never deliberately humiliate her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want making videos to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to compromise: like asking before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about control, it’s about sharing my world while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I experience life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and Beth when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a companion point a camera at you. I understand that it's her passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Maybe she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. Given the uncertain future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She must to respect Beth’s privacy.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and displaying her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It’s nice she has assisted Beth’s career, but she needs to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the priority in your friendship. Create some authentic experiences, where true emotions are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Each appears unsure as to where the line is. The solution is not found in trying to change one another, but in each establishing defined limits around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been over-exposing their friendship?